Episode 60: Hearing God when you feel unloved.

Episode Description:

The story of Leah in the Bible is a messy, complicated, and beautiful story from Scripture. A whole gamut of emotions is displayed – deception, lies, jealousy, envy, desperation, disappointment, despair, heartache and longing, comparison, bitterness, pain and agony with unfulfilled promises. Betrayal. Competition. Fighting. It encompasses God’s ability to redeem broken heartedness, meet us in our imperfections, show up in our dysfunctional families, and fulfil the delayed dreams in our hearts. If you’re feeling the pain of a delayed dream or pain in your family relationships, allow God to speak to you through Leah’s story as you join us in listening to this episode.

Episode Notes:

Background to Leah

We read the story of Leah in Genesis 29 & 30.
Deception, lies and cheating, comparison, jealousy, envy, sexual misconduct and sleeping with the wrong people were rampant generationally.
Jacob was the younger brother, but he cheated his elder brother Esau out of his birthright. Jacob flees to avoid Esau killing him. He comes to the well of his Uncle Laban. He sees Uncle Laban’s youngest daughter Rachel – immediately falls in love with her and asks for her hand in marriage.
Jacob had physical characteristics – he rolled away the stone at the well, which would typically require the strength of three men, but he didn’t have the character to match.
Laban was another great deceiver and manipulator, and when Jacob asks for Rachel’s hand in marriage says – yes, if you work for me without pay for seven years.
Seven long years. Finally, the day of the wedding. That night, Jacob goes into the dark tent, has sex with his wife and wakes in the morning light to see Leah, the older sister who wasn’t as beautiful, staring back at him on the pillow. Imagine Leah witnessing the shock and disappointment in Jacob’s eyes. The shame and humiliation she must have felt.
Jacob gets up, goes and finds Laban and complains. Laban says the wedding celebrations last a week, so you can have Rachel at the end of the week, but that’s another seven years of working for me.
Woah – the family dynamics that day!! How to destroy your family in one easy step.
Can you imagine the tension in that household? Two sisters, living under the same roof and married to the same man, were trying to fulfil their needs, yet the other one had what they wanted the most. Both craving what the other has. Rachel was barren, desperately wanting children but loved by Jacob. Leah’s feelings and knowledge of her being unloved and unwanted but popping out children, intensifies their jealousy.
Jacob’s not innocent in this. He amplified their pain. He is harsh and inconsiderate, rebuking Rachel for not having children and blaming him. It was believed that children were a reward from God.
Rachel and Leah scheme to give their maids to Jacob. Rachel’s maid Bilhah (who had two sons with Jacob called Dan and Naphtali), and Leah’s maid Zilpah.
Leah’s son Reuben found mandrakes, a cure for infertility and brought them to Leah. Rachel asks Leah for them. Leah says you can have them as long as I get to spend tonight in Jacob’s bed. Leah then became pregnant again and gave birth to Issachar and Zebulun. Rachel gets the mandrakes but remains infertile.
In Genesis 30:22, God remembers Rachel, and she finally gives birth to Joseph.
Leah had six sons and one daughter, Bilhah had two sons, Zilpah had two sons and Rachel had two sons (Joseph and Benjamin).

First Principle: A key to hearing God is to begin with praise and thanksgiving.

Psalm 100:4 “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.”
The Message Version puts it this way: “Enter with the password: “Thank you!” Make yourselves at home, talking praise.Thank him. Worship him.
Leah feels unloved. Not valued. Has to pay to get to sleep with Jacob. She gives her sons names that reflect this.
Reuben – the Lord has seen my affliction. Surely, my husband will love me now. (Love)
Simeon – Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also. (Acceptance and value)
Levi – Now this time my husband will be attached to me because I have borne him 3 sons. (Connection)
With the birth of her fourth son Judah, Leah finally realises that God’s love and approval was what mattered in her life. When she gave birth to her fourth son, she named him Judah which means Praise. She declared, “Now I will praise the Lord.” (Gen 29:35) Leah changed her priorities. Instead of focusing on her husband, she shifted her focus to the Lord. No longer was Leah desperate for Jacob, her gaze had shifted upwards, and she found her joy in the Lord.
This time, I will praise the Lord.
A word for someone: stop nurturing your feelings of rejection. Stop striving and longing for love. Instead, resolve to ‘This time, I will praise the Lord.’
Leah saw what we need to see: all the striving in the world for love and acceptance won’t fulfil us–only God can do that. When we change our focus from the people we are trying to please, to the God we should please, He fills us with joy and peace that can’t be gained elsewhere.
Two parts to hearing God – God listening to us and us listening to God.
If you’re struggling with hearing God, spend time worshipping God. Praise Him and thanking Him.

Second Principle: Our identity (how we see ourselves) is important to God.

This story shows it is important to find our value and security in God.
Since a husband can easily divorce a wife if she doesn’t produce sons (there’s a law in Deuteronomy 21:15-17 about children from two wives, one wife being unloved), God sees Leah’s situation and affirms her status as Jacob’s wife by enabling her to have sons.
After the birth of Leah’s fourth son, she realises she is loved by God. She changes her heart attitude, turns her attention to God and praises Him. It’s only when her focus changes from her lack to God’s favour and abundance, that she finds true joy.
Once we find value and security in God, instead of our accomplishments, looks, strengths, relatives, etc., it opens the pathway to hearing God more easily.
I don’t know that Rachel ever truly got this principle. She is loved by her husband, so she doesn’t feel the need to look for fulfilment from God. She would feel valued already because she’s loved. Again, that value is based on what she can do, what service she can offer. But, if she can’t fulfil the one thing that she’s supposed to be able to do, where does that leave her? Suddenly it doesn’t matter that she is the one Jacob loves, because she’s no longer the one with an affirmed value. She’s jealous out of insecurity. She yells at Jacob out of insecurity. She’s spent her life putting her value in the eyes of man, and now she’s losing value because, while she’s the pretty one, she can’t produce a son. Childlessness was a curse. Rachel would have felt forgotten and unseen by God.
The women were all voiceless and powerless.
Leah was a pawn in her father’s scheming. She was the girl nobody wanted. Leah isn’t wanted by her husband – he disregards her. She isn’t wanted by her father – he discards her. And she isn’t wanted by her sister – she displaces her. Leah is truly ‘the woman that nobody wants’.
Leah’s desperate for love. When man doesn’t value her, her father cares for her. God wants her to see her value through His eyes, not her husband’s. It is not what you prove you can do. Value not based in productivity or what you can do. It is through who you are.
I read a quote during the week: Everyone in the world is on a search for something—or someone—to make them whole again. Jacob is looking for his ‘one, true love,’ and he thinks Rachel fits the bill. (Rachel and Leah, are on their own search.) Jacob’s experience is our experience: we reach out to take hold of the ‘Rachel’ that is going to make everything right…but in the morning we wake up and it’s only ‘Leah’. Every time we start a new job, or get into a new relationship, we think, ‘This is it! Finally my life will be right. This is my Rachel.’
Times when we don’t see our worth in God’s eyes, we can try to gain approval through people’s opinions or external performances, creating a vicious cycle of people pleasing and perfection.
No matter how we feel or our reality, God loves us and hears us despite our emotional baggage. God always has a redemptive purpose for our life. Often the thing we struggle with most will be the very thing that God uses to help others.
God sees. God hears. And God’s timing is always perfect.
We are accepted. Validated. Valued. Important. Loved by God.
Important to have inner healing ministry.
We are made to yearn for belonging and completion.

Third Principle: God plans, and works, generationally.

I love how this passage signifies hope to all. These children, fathered by a liar, manipulator, cheat, deceiver, and mothers that were bitter and twisted and schemed, grew up to fulfill the promise God gave to Abraham in Genesis 22:17 about his descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. This is an example of divine grace not human merit.
Remember God’s goodness. Focus on His character.
The sibling competition was so ingrained in this family that it continued down the family line.
Leah’s unfulfilled desire for love and Rachel’s of children is what the other craves. Their relationship is a reflection of their father and his brother.
You can’t run from your issues. You need to face them and deal with them, otherwise, it permeates your whole life. Jacob – competition, jealousy, deceit, treachery, all followed him.
If you don’t deal with your sin, your descendants will be stricken with it.
I love how when Leah turned her focus to God, God blessed her extravagantly, beyond her wildest imagination. She was the one whose generational line would give birth to Jesus. She went from a nobody to a somebody.
Rachel played a role generationally in her son Joseph, who had a crucial role in the survival and flourishing of the Israelites in Egypt.
God loves those who are unloved and unwanted. He pours his grace into the lives of the outcasts and the despised. He is the Father to the fatherless, the husband to the widow, and the protector of the vulnerable. He exalts the humble, feeds the hungry, and gives strength to the weak.
This story is a messy, complicated, and beautiful story from Scripture. This story encompasses God’s ability to redeem broken heartedness, meet us in our imperfections, show up in our dysfunctional families, and fulfil the delayed dreams in our hearts. If you’re feeling the pain of a delayed dream or pain in your family relationships, allow God to speak to you through her story.
Leah didn’t get to see the full blessing in her generation. Could it be that God is blessing you with great blessings that will only be fully realised and appreciated by the next generation? Are you willing to believe and trust in God, His love, and His willingness to care and provide for you?

Summary:

A key to hearing God is to begin with praise and thanksgiving.
Our identity (how we see ourselves) is important to God.
God plans, and works, generationally.

Prophetic activation:

Turn your heart and thoughts to Father God and ask Him –

“God, which person in this story am I like the most? “
“God, why is that?”
“Father God, how would you like me to respond to this?”

Time Stamps:

[2:10] – Gary & Jane share briefly how they have heard God this week.

[5:22] – Background to the story of Leah.

[9:51] – First Principle: A key to hearing God is to begin with praise and thanksgiving.

[14:31] – Second Principle: Our identity (how we see ourselves) is important to God.

[20:18] – Third Principle: God plans, and works, generationally.

[23:41] – Recap the principles.

[24:09] – Prophetic activation.

[25:07] – Gary & Jane both share a prophetic word for a listener.

[26:47] – Gary prays for you.

Resources / Links Mentioned:

Prayer Ministry / Inner Healing through various places. Contact your local church or ministries like Bethel Sozo, Elijah House, Ellel Ministries, Heart Revive (Portico Church – online), Restore (Stairway SASH), Australian Inner Healing Network, Orbis Ministries, or Restoring the Foundations.
Episode 59 (Lazarus): https://garyandjane.co/hearing-god-when-things-appear-dead/
Website: https://garyandjane.co

Bible Verses Mentioned:

Proverbs 13:12
Genesis 29-31
Psalm 100:4
Deuteronomy 21:15-17
Genesis 22:17

Connect with Gary & Jane:

Visit the Hearing God podcast website https://garyandjane.co
Email admin@garyandjane.co
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